Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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