I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
