she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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