found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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