You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
