If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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