It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There are leaves in my underwear?
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