You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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