i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
