My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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