How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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