I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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