I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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