Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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