I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You dont lie about slip and slides
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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