But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
