Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
