Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
