Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
