There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
