Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
