I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
