I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
