you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Do vagina's smell?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
