What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
