Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
