Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
