I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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