Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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