yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
