I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
