She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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