That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
