It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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