It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
