I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.