And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.