My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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