WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
