Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
