I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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