I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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