i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
