..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
tell me about the eggs
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