8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
They are going to name an STD after you.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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