I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
