What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
