Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
