This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
