Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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