are you still at the devil's house?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
