I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
