Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i came on her dog
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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