she was so not down for the gang bang
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
