i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Randomize
