And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
kristin has been a bad kristin
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
