I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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