she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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