Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
