The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
