I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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