I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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