Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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